I am so mad at myself right now and I.Hate.Living.Where.I.Do. It makes me want to run far, far away and NOT look back! I gave up a life and family, friends a thousand miles away to come back to this?! Seriously!? My dad is dead, do not speak to step-Mom anymore because she hardly ever returns my phone calls because she lives in a holler and cannot get cell reception (I find it awful funny that her daughter/granddaughter can though, just two feet up from her, but whatever) and said daughter/granddaughter has messed her around so much in Landline phone charges that she cannot afford a regular Landline phone anymore. (Daughter/granddaughter are both terribly narcisstic, white trash ho’s who dumps their children off on her to friggin raise because they cannot and will not be bothered! And they do not give her any money for it either. Basically, if SM did not take care of them, those kids would totally be raising themselves OR be in foster care because the kiddo’s mom and grandma sucks ass) —back to my rant!— My parents are dead, my brothers wife is mad at me because I am not yess’ing and amen’ing her on a subject that she is wrong about.. and she cannot stand it! I am sorry, but I cannot and will not get into that crap and drama. I value my sanity wayyy too much! I have done my best to be nice to her and listen to her and empathize with her, but unless I am all up in her butt about it, she thinks I am mad at her. Guh!! Cannot win for losing with her. Seriously. In the meantime, I just stay away because mainly, I have my own life to lead and I do manage to stay busy more days than not.
My older sister is a “B-word” and she pretty much does not like me and anything I stand for all because of a phone bill. A word to the wise, it is *NEVER* wise to let family be on one’s cell phone plan indefinitely. Or to lend them money with the expectation of ever getting that money back. Buh-bye money! Never see you again; hope you have a nice life! My oldest sister is also a very, very fake person who deems anyone not rich or thin, as anyone she wants to be around and has no use for. Seeing.as I am far from either of these things, she does not have any use for me. And I am cool with that because I have ZERO tolerance for fake people.
My younger sister is an uber super-duper Godly Christian woman that has to pray and fast more often than not. A lot of people would think she is fake, but she is not. She truly should have been a Nun in a convent. Seriously. She is fairly close to perfect and has done little wrong in her life. Okay. So, she really is not a bad person and I love her and she loves me .. but we have our moments and they mainly concern her drug-addicted husband who is an idiot and I would like to hurt him sometimes. And that does not even begin to cover the issues with him and thus, her. My brother’s wife and older sister are pretty much just alike in a lot of ways (controlling, confronters, have to have things their way, and OMGoodness!, they both heart drama. Many, many times over. And then some.) They do not get along with each other .. never really has and never really will .. and so, the family generally cannot get together but *maybe* once a year together because it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable being in the same room with them.. and believe me, anything with them can be used for tender in starting an all-out fire. Yes, seriously. So, hardly any family get togethers because of these two heiffers and Baby Sis is the all-time defender of Older Sis. It does not matter on what it is, she will defend her till the death whether or not it is deserved. Believe me, I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and the book!
And to think, I gave up my family, friends, life, great job for ALL of this dysfunction?! Oh good gravy. I could have handled the stuff going on with my ex-hubby if I had just seen a foreshadowing of what life was going to be like here. Someone please send me some Calgon so it can take me away! Hopefully, far, FAR away!!
And now everyone knows just how dysfunctional this biological family of mine really is. Blood truly is NOT thicker than water. I have experienced it firsthand. I pray that I get that experience once again.